Do we wish to grow towards being our authentic self,… or continue to be pressured to “achieve” based on the values and expectations of other people and society?
In today’s world, there is much pressure to conform and achieve according to the standards of other people and society. Success is seen as; “being driven”, going places, “looking good”, “getting ahead”, accumulating status, popularity or material possessions.
Are we being true to our heart? Are we sharing the true essence of who we are? Despite our self-doubts and vulnerabilities, do we find the courage to keep moving forward and into the unknown? Is the life we live a reflection of our own gifts, talents, and creative expression? Are we sincerely devoted to our path of healing and growing?
Mainstream society does not encourage self-reflection and completely neglects the inner journey of discovering who we are, embodying our unique, creative potential and a sense of purpose for our life.
When we begin the work of healing and balancing our sacred masculine and feminine energies, our life and journey takes us on a very different path and experience.
First and foremost, we know we cannot be truly happy and fulfilled, unless what we do and how we live is an expression of our heart and soul being. This is not an easy path to commit ourselves to. However, the outcome is that we honour our soul journey and potential, rather than put on a superficial mask to be accepted and “liked”.
Over time, as we focus on becoming more honest with ourselves and our inner work of healing and growing, our sense of integrity, authenticity and discernment grows stronger.
As we open ourselves more to the Sacred Feminine within us and all around us, we become conscious of our own rhythm, which is unique to each one of us. The more we are in balance with our own rhythm, the more we are in balance with the core vibration in all.
When we truly embrace our souls journey and purpose, we cannot be bought, manipulated or pulled into a superficial, fear-based world of the ego/mind. Instead, we are moving towards a world of the heart, which is based on feelings, compassion, connectivity, gentleness, innocence, love and a mutual respect for all people, all living beings and Mother Earth.
The journey looks easy, when presented in nice sounding words and pictures 🙂 …. but not to truly live, be and share! Our inner work of healing and growing takes a lot of patience, humility, resilience, courage and devotion to keep being open for more truth, healing and transformation within ourselves and in our own life.
It takes a long time to recognise the depth of our childhood and inter-generational wounds… and be open to heal from the many layers of negative programming.
The truth is that to some degree, we all have all been wounded by our parents and society. Many of us may prefer to deny, forget, block out or purely focus on the positive aspects of life and self.
Most of us have been pressured to “fit in”, and as a consequence, we have disconnected from our heart and our true self. When we neglect our inner life, (our feelings, our wounds, our shadow), we become unbalanced. As a result, we can be easily influenced, manipulated and distracted by a mainstream society, which pushes us to “achieve” based on what we see or judge “outside” of ourselves.
We must recognise and reject our societies de-valuing of our soul’s worth. We can not do our healing work alone. It is important to find the safety and support of people (who are on a similar journey) to be, share, reflect and connect with how we are truly feeling, in our heart and life.
“Those who do not weep, do not see.”
My healing journey began when the internet, social media and the new age spiritual movement was not as advanced as it is today. There was no Facebook, Twitter, YouTube or Instagram to share insights, spiritual knowledge, consciousness and support for each other.
There are many potential benefits of creating online community to raise consciousness and connect with other like minds around the world. We may never know how far a message of truth and love can travel to reach the heart and consciousness of others.
However, today it is easy to be distracted and overwhelmed by so much information via the internet. More than ever, we seem to be “living in our heads” as opposed to being connected with our bodies, feelings and our heart.
On YouTube and Facebook there are numerous self proclaimed healers, spiritual teachers, life coaches and therapists “driven” to promote themselves, attract popularity, and sell their self-help techniques for a “successful, happy life”. People who are new to healing work and genuinely need support and guidance, can easily fall for the projected mask people portray of themselves and the promise of short term, superficial results.
Awakening is an ongoing, transformative, unglamorous and often very difficult process of working with the core truth in ourselves, our life and the world. It is bringing awareness (light) to our wounded (shadow) parts of self. If we remain open, humble and heart centred – the awakening process will help us to relinquish our masks (protection) and journey deeper into our wounds.
Within our core wounds lies the potential for transformation and healing. By transforming our darkness (our wounds, shadow self) with love and compassion, we discover a deeper sense of authenticity of who we are and the true purpose of our journey. We will grow in love and compassion, not only for ourselves, but also for the people who have facilitated hurtful experiences and challenges in our life. We may recognise and feel a deeper connection with our Higher Self, Spirit or Creator.
There are no short cuts or quick fixes. If we believe, we can whitewash our shadow through “being in the now” or pretending our wounds do not exist, we are fooling ourselves. Eventually, our life will show us that we can no longer hide from the truth of our heart, body and life.
On this journey of awakening and transformation, complete and total honesty must be our true compass on the way forward….
In this age of social media, internet technology and new age spirituality, we can be distracted by numerous, superficial promises of a “perfect, happy life” i.e. mind-based intent of being in the light, while denying the shadow… wearing a mask on the outside but craving love within.
As healers, therapists and light workers, we must recognise the importance and value of our ongoing sincere, inner work. The more we are doing this work ourselves, the more we can help and inspire others… offering support to remove our mask, come into our heart and feel supported on our soul’s journey.
We are all here to grow through our own unique personal lessons and life challenges. Living an authentic life from the heart and soul means to continually choose transformation, healing and growth over self-limiting beliefs, stagnation and what is “known” to us.
On my own journey, I have realised that the most important is how much I have grown to be and share more who I truly am. Today, I see the bigger picture of my life. I recognise and appreciate my past hurtful experiences as an opportunity to heal and grow more.
Devoted to my continuous inner work, I am not the same person I was, 10, 5, 1 year,…or even 1 week ago 🙂 Having said this, I know I can heal and grow more. I am very much committed to do whatever it takes to overcome my own resistances and reach deeper levels of unconscious wounds – waiting to be transformed through love, compassion and wisdom.
I am grateful to be with a partner who supports, encourages and challenges me to continue to heal and grow. It is not always easy to be with someone who can see the truth! Juerg is someone who is not afraid to be honest (with himself and others). He is also very loving and compassionate. Juerg sees my soul potential and my unhealed human wounds. He helps me to continue to grow towards my heart and soul being.
At the same time, Juerg does not pretend to be perfect and is open to continue to heal and grow himself. I know that our journey of healing and growing together continues to help us to become more who we are and long to be in this lifetime.
“In a conscious relationship, both partners know
that in order to heal and grow unpleasant emotions must get triggered.
Naturally, we do not like this. It is easy then to simply be angry
at the trigger, i.e. your partner.
Unconditional love means that you love each other despite your imperfections.
However, unconditional love also means to not be afraid to help your partner
acknowledge and transform an unhealed wound.”
Many people (especially women) want their partner to “just love them the way they are”. However, this does not help us to move through our blockages and heal and grow on our soul journey.
Our soul acts like a magnet to attract the perfect relationships and circumstances for healing and transformation to occur. As we work to heal our shadow with love, forgiveness and soul understanding, we open ourselves towards a deeper capacity to feel and share love.
When both partner’s acknowledge their own shadow and understand that in relationships we can touch (trigger) each other’s wounds, the relationship offers a powerful tool for healing, growth and transformation.
Our healing journey is not defined through a linear timeline. It is a sacred spiral. We can always learn more, we can always go deeper… Our soul journey will always offer us opportunities to grow and embody a deeper sense of heart/soul feeling, understanding, wisdom, compassion and love… There is always more to come….
“The core purpose of our journey, is to continue to heal and grow.”
Our soul journey of healing and transformation, is unique to each one of us. As we continue on this journey, we can increasingly recognise the value of our inner work. This work does not require the approval or recognition of others.
There is so much more to our world, which we may never see, know or truly understand. Based on my own experiences, I have come to see that it is not about “understanding” or “knowing” with the mind – it is about feeling and being present with our own loving, innocent and trusting heart.
The more we come into our heart centre the more our intuition, learning and wisdom from our own journey can flow freely. The more we heal and grow, the more real and authentic we become.
We touch and attract others with our energy. Relationships are a wonderful opportunity to continue to heal and grow. Embracing our soul journey has the potential to bear many beautiful fruits, not only for ourselves but for all our relationships – past, present and future.
May this article plant a seed and confirm what you feel in your own heart. May it help you to recognise the value, challenges and opportunities of your own soul journey.
My work is to support people on their soul journey. I am dedicated to support others through personal sessions to heal and grow towards their authentic self – and a life in harmony with their heart and soul being. Learn more about my work here.
Copyright © 2016 Jaymie Elder
This article was a journey over several months. Special thanks to Juerg for helping me edit this text.
1. Featured photograph: “Forest foraging, Haute Savoie, France” by Juerg Dreamturtle
2. “Go within (snail wisdom) Pyrenees, France” by Jaymie Elder
3. “Ocean sunset in the Bretagne, France” by Juerg Dreamturtle
4. “Sunset over pond, Bordeaux, France “ by Jaymie Elder
5. “Spring light in the Pyrenees, France” by Jaymie Elder