Have you noticed that now as the earth is receiving much more light than ever before, the shadow parts in many people, as well as dysfunctional power structures, have become much more visible or less “hidden” from plain sight?
If we are continuing with our own most important inner work, we find we can transmute and move through old wounds/triggers much faster than ever before. But at the same time, it appears that relationships or people who are no longer an equal resonance of energy simply fall away – more quickly than ever before.
Carl Jung left us with some amazing insights and revelations about his “shadow work”. He said that we do not grow/become “enlightened” through only focusing on the light or imagining “figures of light”, but by looking deep inside i.e bringing to light the unconscious, through facing and transforming our shadow *. He also said that “to confront a person with his own shadow, is to show him his own light”…
This article was written by me several years ago. I wrote it to honour the journey of shadow work in a relationship, which over time, with steady commitment and devotion, allows us to grow to become a much more authentic expression of our true selves.
As we continue with this shadow work, we open ourselves towards a deeper capacity to feel and share love, and attract relationships that are more supportive, authentic and harmonious with who we are becoming.
However, I believe because we are here to evolve and continue to grow, this journey is not linear, a straight path or finite,…Therefore, our inner work will always take us deeper and higher, much like an infinite energy spiral – returning to our innermost core and then expanding out towards the ether.
* Our shadow is made up of our unhealed, hurt, vulnerable parts of self – often originating in childhood but remaining with us throughout life. We can choose to ignore our shadow and unconsciously project it out onto others OR embrace and work with it for the many deeper gifts and insights it can offer us on our journey through life.
Everybody wants a loving relationship,… but few people are really open or prepared for the ongoing commitment and challenge of shadow work i.e. to take full responsibility for our own projections, inner child wounds and personal healing.
Relationships are so important because the deeper we are connected to someone physically, emotionally and spiritually – the greater the opportunity or catalyst for healing our inner child and transforming our core family and generational wounds.
Without this awareness, we may continue to protect or react from our wounds (hurt inner child) through becoming defensive, angry and blaming others, shutting down or avoiding intimacy altogether.
If we pretend that everything is wonderful and perfect on the outside, we deny ourselves the sacred opportunity to work with the truth – the unpleasant emotions that get triggered in us. It is only through acknowledging that our shadow/wounds exist, that we can begin to grow towards…
“If the path ahead of us is clear, we are probably on someone else’s”– Carl Jung
Why is the Mushroom Trail (or meandering through the forest looking for mushrooms), similar to walking our authentic Soul Path?
Carl Jung said; “If the path ahead of us is clear, we are probably on someone else’s”…
As many of you know, mushroom foraging is our passion and “following the mushroom trail” – has been part of our life, for many years. I am truly grateful for these experiences, which have inspired, strengthened and enriched my journey, in both New Zealand and in Europe together with Juerg.
During the Steinpilz/Porcini season this past year in Switzerland, I made this movie (below) to explore deeper some of these ideas (above) ☝️ but also to share from my own journey about finding the courage to walk an authentic Soul Path.
Many people came through 2020, having experienced much “falling away”,…i.e loss, grief, separation, disruption, change, or maybe consciously relinquishing that which was no longer needed or fulfilling on a heart and soul level. Others experienced the distinct, intuitive knowing that they must address a yearning to discover more who they really are and express their creativity, authentic path or soul calling. Maybe none of the above applies to you, but you came through the other-side of 2020 feeling more curious and open,… to learn new things, expand, challenge yourself and grow.
In this new year, let us find the courage to step into the unknown and trust we have all the spiritual support, tools and guidance we need, both within and around us.
Juerg and I are offering soul wisdom, helpful insights and tools from our own experiences (both individually and as a couple), to support others on their own authentic Soul Path.
If you found this video to be helpful, and you would like to know more about my sessions with clients,… please feel free to write to me, for any questions or further information.
Please note: In my video, when I refer to “wearing a mask”, I am simply referring to all the different ways we learn to cover over our authentic self – because of societal and family conditioning.
“When you know how to listen,
everyone is the Guru”
– Ram Dass
How do we practice compassionate listening?
We practice compassionate listening by spending time alone in communion with nature and becoming comfortable in our own inner silence.
Only then, do we begin to hear with our heart – our right brain, which is connected with a higher intelligence – present in nature and magnified in all of creation.
Only then, do we begin to tap into a magical vibration – the universal energy of love – which we are and always will be part of.
What does it mean to “commune from the heart”?
To commune from the heart simply means we listen for what the heart is trying to express.
In our relationships and encounters with strangers, we are receptive and open to the feeling, sensory and telepathic messages. Often for humans, these are the messages and clues about what is NOT being expressed, because the left-brain-mind is trying to convince, persuade, manipulate, impress, or control in a person.
We help another person, not by becoming like them and therefore losing our center of Self – but by helping them to see where their words and thoughts are not in harmony with their soul being, heart and body.
We help another person, not by overpowering them with our own thoughts, ideas, or projections of what we would like to see, have affirmed, validated or believed – but by offering a mirror where they have an opportunity to recognise their own light of truth reflected back at them.
Ultimately, we support and encourage a person to feel safe and not to be afraid of their own inner silence… because this is where they access their own innate wisdom and what can only be right and true for them.
Why did we not learn about this in school?
We did not learn about this in school, because instead we have been trained to utilise our left-brain, which is more easily persuaded and conditioned to obey an authoritative structure or power system. Now, more and more our world moves towards a new set of compassionate, feminine values with an appreciation of our heart’s intelligence at the core.
Anyone can practice compassionate listening – it’s not restricted to those with a degree in psychology, any form of elite status, religious or spiritual authority.
Of course, what we are speaking about is not only limited to human exchanges but how we interact and form relationships with all beings (“seen” and “unseen”) and with all of nature.
How do we know when we have achieved a “heart communion” or practiced “compassionate listening”?
We know when we have achieved a heart communion and practiced compassionate listening because both participants leave a conversation or exchange feeling received, uplifted, fulfilled, energised, joyous, lighter and more open.
These are the feelings and signs, which tell us we have truly listened and communed with and from the heart (as it is, in all of nature and magnified in all of creation).
Everybody wants a loving relationship,… but few people are really open or prepared for the ongoing commitment and challenge of shadow work i.e. to take full responsibility for our own projections, inner child wounds and personal healing.
Relationships are so important because the deeper we are connected to someone physically, emotionally and spiritually – the greater the opportunity or catalyst for healing our inner child and transforming our core family and generational wounds.
Without this awareness, we may continue to protect or react from our wounds (hurt inner child) through becoming defensive, angry and blaming others, shutting down or avoiding intimacy altogether.
If we pretend that everything is wonderful and perfect on the outside, we deny ourselves the sacred opportunity to work with the truth – the unpleasant emotions that get triggered in us. It is only through acknowledging that our shadow/wounds exist, that we can begin to grow towards being more authentic and truthful with ourselves and others.
The truth is, we need relationships to trigger the wounds we have protected and tried to bury deep within our unconscious. As children, we developed unhealthy patterns, behaviors and beliefs in order to survive our family and society’s circumstances. However, as mature adults, we have a responsibility to consciously work with our history, our family story, our inner child, so that we do not continue to pass on our unhealed past and wounds.
Our soul acts like a magnet to attract the perfect partner and circumstances for healing and transformation to occur. As we work with the opportunities a soul partner offers us to heal and grow, we can embrace our shadow with love, forgiveness and soul understanding. As we continue with this work, we open ourselves towards a deeper capacity to feel and share love.
The soul purpose of a relationship is to share love and help each other heal and grow.
“Love” by Sculptor Alexander Milov
In life, and especially in our relationships, we often do not “like” what is being mirrored back to us or triggered by another.
We can choose to protect or defend our wounds, turn our backs on each other and walk away from the challenge presented to us.
However, life experience shows – our unconscious, childhood wounds tend to follow us into the next relationship… and the next.
In time, we realise that wisdom, self-awareness and maturity come from looking deep inside the childhood wounds we carry with us.
Wounds, which require another to bring them into our conscious awareness so that they may be faced, transformed and healed.
When we are conscious of our inner child’s needs, we can step away and disengage from a cycle of outer criticism, projection and blame.
We can recognise our own shadow parts – longing to be transformed with love, understanding, non-judgment, compassion, patience and gentleness.
We focus our energy and time on the inner changes, we need to make and the most important personal work we are here for.
When both partners are open to feel and connect with their unhealed childhood wounds that get triggered, they have an opportunity to progress with their inner work of healing and growing.
An intuitive guide can be very helpful to support us in connecting with what is at the core of our triggered emotional reactions.
He or she may also offer us beneficial tools to support our inner child’s needs for love, compassion and inner safety.
We can therefore approach our challenges as opportunities to share and grow more together towards wholeness, love and respect for each other.
With each obstacle on our path, we have an opportunity to rise together, reaching deeper levels of love, intimacy and healing.
A soul union is about complementing, supporting and enhancing our unique energies and gifts.
It’s also about being challenged – to confront our old identity, conditioning and past limited ways of being in the world.
A soul relationship can liberate us from our past – supporting and encouraging us to become all we can be.
The soul purpose of a relationship is to share love and help each other heal and grow.
The most important journey in life leads us deep inside ourselves!
If we can not be honest with ourselves, how can we be honest with another? In a nurturing and loving relationship with the Self, we acknowledge our shadow in a way that we do not criticise or judge ourselves harshly. We understand its purpose for being there – to provide the lessons and challenges so that we may grow.
In an honest, conscious relationship both partners know that we touch each other’s wounds – and therefore the relationship can offer us a powerful tool for healing, growth and transformation.
“Every moment, it is our sacred choice, how open we are to forgive, heal and grow in love, compassion and soul wisdom
– on our Sacred Journey.” Juerg Dreamturtle
It is of course always our choice how deep we wish to go and how much we wish to face, transform and heal on our own journey.
The true gift and fulfillment of journeying with someone who is open for all of this – someone who also has a good sense of humour, sensitivity, honesty and capacity to love – is the solidity, strength and union you build overtime within yourself AND together as a couple.
Our work is to support people on their soul journey. I am dedicated to my own personal healing and shadow work in a relationship with Juerg Dreamturtle (we have been journeying, traveling, creating and doing this healing/shadow work together for 15 years).
We do not pretend to be perfect because we know we can always continue to heal and grow more. Juerg and I share a core belief that our inner work of healing and growing is the most important, beneficial part of our journey we can devote ourselves to in this life…not only for ourselves and our relationship, but for all people and Mother Earth.
Juerg and I are offering support for this very important personal work, which helps us to heal and grow to a deeper level of love, compassion and soul wisdom. Both Juerg and I offer personal sessions for individuals/couples. Sessions are available internationally via Skype/Telegram/Facebook Messenger.
