I am reflecting on the lives of two men who have inspired peace in the world through their art, love of nature/gardening, music, philosophy, activism, poetry and wisdom… John Lennon (also a Libran like myself 🙂 ) and Claude Monet.
During his international career as a Musician, Poet, Activist and influential Ambassador for World Peace, John Lennon has been quoted as saying;
“Peace is not something you wish for, it is something you make, something you do, something you are and something you give away”
“My role in society, or any artist’s or poet’s role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all.”
“Love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep on watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.”
“I’m not really a career person; I’m a gardener, basically.”
Every year, some 500 000 visitors come from around the world to visit Claude Monet’s Garden in Giverny, France. Over many decades, millions of people have been touched by Monet’s peaceful and tranquil impressionist paintings. People are attracted because of the essence of calm and peace Monet was able to capture in his beautiful paintings and in his garden. For many years, I had prints of Monet’s Water Lillie’s hanging in my bedroom. When I walked into my bedroom, I remember how the paintings made me feel peaceful, balanced and at ease with my surroundings.
Not all of us have the gift of music and poetry to collectively inspire people’s minds and hearts like John – in a positive and powerful way. Not all of us have the opportunity to create a beautiful garden or the ability to paint like Monet did.
However, I believe we all have the chance in this life to work on our inner selves,…to grow in love and peace by owning and transforming our shadow self (our core wounds), healing and forgiving ourselves and others.
I refer to this work as “Soul Work” – and having been a “Gardener of the Soul” for many years now, I believe this is the true work I am here to do, be and share!
I have learned that the beautiful or impressive garden we create on the “outside”, is not as important as the garden we nurture and grow on the “inside”…
The Garden of our Soul is hidden to the eye but felt with the heart…
The Soul Garden we are nurturing, sustaining, lovingly tending too and growing every day – is the most important and true work we are here for.
As we honour our true selves and continue with our Soul Work, the universe will reflect back to us our inner transformation – we can attract more loving, authentic relationships into our lives and experience a sense of deeper peace and purpose for our journey. Although, this does not mean our healing and growing ever stops or we no longer attract challenges in our lives! However, over time, we can become more of a beacon of light to inspire others towards inner peace, truth and fulfillment for themselves.
Real, lasting peace is not something we can “take” from another or a piece of art or music to temporarily “feel better”. We each have to make the commitment to work towards peace in ourselves and this can be a challenging, demanding yet truly rewarding process over many, many lifetimes of experience and growth.
Featured Photo for this Blog Post:“Sacred Sadness Rose” from my Grandmother’s Garden – taken on Christmas day, many years ago. The photo features in my partner, Juerg Dreamturtle’s book; “Sacred Journey – A Simple Book of Soul Wisdom, Love and Healing.”
The book, “Sacred Journey” is very much about this inner work of growing towards love and peace in ourselves, in our lives and in the world. Why not order a copy of the book “Sacred Journey” to honour this day – International World Peace Day?
Find out more about the book “Sacred Journey” by Juerg Dreamturtle here
Photo of Water Lillie’s from Monet’s Garden: taken by Juerg, June 2015.
Read more about Claude Monet here
“When you know how to listen,
everyone is the Guru”
– Ram Dass
How do we practice compassionate listening?
We practice compassionate listening by spending time alone in communion with nature and becoming comfortable in our own inner silence.
Only then, do we begin to hear with our heart – our right brain, which is connected with a higher intelligence – present in nature and magnified in all of creation.
Only then, do we begin to tap into a magical vibration – the universal energy of love – which we are and always will be part of.
What does it mean to “commune from the heart”?
To commune from the heart simply means we listen for what the heart is trying to express.
In our relationships and encounters with strangers, we are receptive and open to the feeling, sensory and telepathic messages. Often for humans, these are the messages and clues about what is NOT being expressed, because the left-brain-mind is trying to convince, persuade, manipulate, impress, or control in a person.
We help another person, not by becoming like them and therefore losing our center of Self – but by helping them to see where their words and thoughts are not in harmony with their soul being, heart and body.
We help another person, not by overpowering them with our own thoughts, ideas, or projections of what we would like to see, have affirmed, validated or believed – but by offering a mirror where they have an opportunity to recognise their own light of truth reflected back at them.
Ultimately, we support and encourage a person to feel safe and not to be afraid of their own inner silence… because this is where they access their own innate wisdom and what can only be right and true for them.
Why did we not learn about this in school?
We did not learn about this in school, because instead we have been trained to utilise our left-brain, which is more easily persuaded and conditioned to obey an authoritative structure or power system. Now, more and more our world moves towards a new set of compassionate, feminine values with an appreciation of our heart’s intelligence at the core.
Anyone can practice compassionate listening – it’s not restricted to those with a degree in psychology, any form of elite status, religious or spiritual authority.
Of course, what we are speaking about is not only limited to human exchanges but how we interact and form relationships with all beings (“seen” and “unseen”) and with all of nature.
How do we know when we have achieved a “heart communion” or practiced “compassionate listening”?
We know when we have achieved a heart communion and practiced compassionate listening because both participants leave a conversation or exchange feeling received, uplifted, fulfilled, energised, joyous, lighter and more open.
These are the feelings and signs, which tell us we have truly listened and communed with and from the heart (as it is, in all of nature and magnified in all of creation).
1 year ago, I was asking a question to my spirit guides about what this really means… and this was their reply to me…
Human beings naturally crave structure, security, or a clear and straight path laid out before them. Many search for a spiritual leader or community, a daily routine, ‘an acceptable way’ to follow – so life feels more safe, predictable and ‘known’…
But the heart yearns for the deeper springs of life and the path of the soul is uniquely your own.
It’s a pathway that you forge into the unknown and only your heart can intuitively feel/know what is right and true for you.
If you really choose this path, with all your heart and being, know that you will be challenged.
You will need courage and perseverance to keep opening your heart towards the unhealed shadow – of which has been ‘hidden’ to you…
Experiences which may come to you won’t always be easy, pleasant or beautiful… It may sometimes feel as if you walk a lonely path but you will always be much closer to us than you know…
Above all,…you will grow,…
There will be others… Soul friends and spiritual companions to meet again, Soul family to share laughter, tears, wisdom and experiences along the way…
It will not matter, if you only cross paths for a short moment or never meet each other in the physical. It’s the mutual exchange of heart energy, which has the power to transform, heal, inspire and illuminate lives.
Dear one, to live your life from the level of the heart and soul means to be open to heal your old wounds and from limiting beliefs and conditioning, create new, loving and joyful possibilities…
It means to recognise the importance of your inner work and honour yourself as a sacred conduit – here to help raise the consciousness and heart energy on beautiful Mother Earth…
It means wherever possible, guided by your feelings and heart – to transform darkness, hurt and fear into light, love, forgiveness, beauty, appreciation and fulfillment.
This is the magic, the spiritual alchemy, the infinite possibility, the realness, humility and freedom of living – connected and true – to your heart and soul.
“The knowledge of the heart is in no book
and is not to be found in the mouth of any teacher,
but grows out of you like the green seed from the dark earth.”
– Carl Jung (The Red Book)
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” – Carl Jung …. i.e not who we “think” we should be, who others would like us to be, or who we think we should have been more, in order to receive love, approval and acceptance…
To become conscious of the wounds and various masks we adopted in childhood (and often continue to use later in our relationships) – is a lifes work and healing journey, which takes much courage and endurance.
However, I believe it is our free choice and great opportunity to consciously do our own inner healing work – rather than unconsciously re-create old family patterns or project our anger, hurt and pain out into the world and on to others.
Everything begins to transform and expand, the more we come from a place of love and acceptance for ourselves and value the uniqueness of who we are and the path we have walked in our own life (loving and challenging experiences).
For a long time, I have felt drawn to the energy and symbolism of the Lion. To me, the Lion represents the courage to be our authentic self, – to speak and act in harmony with our heart…even if it means, we stand alone in a crowd.
“Journey with my Lion – what it means to embody Lion energy” is a post I made 4 years ago, which incorporates my artwork and writing to share about some of my own vulnerabilities, strengths and awareness gained, through working closely (over a period of many months) with the energy and symbolism of the Lion and Lioness.
To read the post, click on my Lion painting and the quote by Carl Jung, below:
…see the value of more resting, listening, reflecting, feeling and being…
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Today, women find it challenging to create enough time and space to nurture their inner world. Often overlooked or neglected, this can eventually lead to all kinds of physical, mental and emotional problems such as chronic fatigue, depression, period pain or feeling unbalanced, overwhelmed, easily stressed and a lack of meaning and depth to one’s life.
To be clear and without judgment (each stage of our journey has valuable lessons and this is not about feeling “pressured”), I am not suggesting we pamper ourselves in self-indulgent, self-care methods that only achieve short-term, superficial results.
Sometimes it is wonderful to feel pampered. However, while some of these popular outer methods may give us a quick and easy “lift” they often have no value or depth of meaning for the soul. And so, we make no personal, beneficial changes and we continue the cycle of our repetitive, self-harming patterns, unhealthy relationships or doing and caring too much for the needs of others.
Instead, I am referring to all the ways, which we may feed ourselves internally using methods, rituals and practices that are self-sustaining, enriching and nourishing for our inner selves, our heart, womb and soul.
For example, taking time out for ourselves to rest and be alone with the elements of nature, journal writing and connecting in with our spirit guides, expressing our creativity through music, art or dance, sacred ritual and ceremony, receiving and living in harmony with the deeper messages of the seasons and cycles of the moon, inner-child healing and shadow work,…
While this may sound like a lot of work or a life-long commitment, we can begin by simply recognising the gifts and healing benefits of what is around us and available to us today,.. right now,.. in this moment.
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What the soul longs for has nothing to do with the ego’s superficial, wants, ambitions or desires.
I experience my soul longing as an ancient calling – to come back into alignment with my authentic being, the unconditional love of Self and the true path of my hearts knowing.
Sometimes, it’s more about being happy with the beauty and blessings, which surround you, right now, and trusting your journey of unfoldment rather than constantly thinking you should be somewhere else or “further ahead”, in order to be happy and fulfilled.
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The healing energy of Mother Earth, which is unconditional love, helps us to ground ourselves but also, do our inner work and come to a place of love and compassion for ourselves and others.
It is my belief that as we do our soul-work of inner transformation and healing, we take our ancestors with us. We are all connected; therefore, all our ancestors live, learn and love together with and through us on our soul journey.
In your alone time in nature or in meditation, try the simple exercise of asking the women in your ancestral lineage to come forward and be near you. Be receptive to who is making their energetic presence known to you. It could be your grandmother who has recently passed over… or, it could be a female ancestor whom you have never met in this lifetime.
While you may think you are sitting alone, you will soon realise that in fact you are never alone. There is more love, strength, wisdom and energy available to us than we can possibly comprehend with our human understanding or perceived-limited-reality.
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…When we rest and nourish our soul in ways that support our healing and authentic being, we find we naturally are better, more balanced, loving and giving mothers, lovers, partners, daughters, co-workers, sisters and friends…
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This is why it is so important we create enough time and space to nurture our inner world – our soul.
My work is supporting and mentoring women to embrace their authentic being and be true to the ancient calling of their heart and soul. I offer intuitive guidance and support through Soul Sessions, which take place internationally via Skype. Soul Sessions are a unique chance to feel, reflect and connect with the deeper part of your being – your heart and soul.
“It’s not really sadness that gives you pain. It is the interpretation that sadness is wrong that gives you pain, that becomes a psychological problem… How long can you be sad if you accept sadness? If you are capable of accepting sadness you will be capable of absorbing it in your being; it will become your depth…” – Osho
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Usually, we want to avoid, distract ourselves or move away from sadness as quickly as possible.
In a room full of people, it is the “sad” person who is being ignored by everyone because it is easier and more pleasant to wear a mask of pretend “happiness”.
We can do anything and everything to pretend our sadness is not really there, so as to protect ourselves from being overwhelmed by its presence.
This is especially true for men, who are culturally conditioned to be the strong protectors, work hard, fight and strive to create solutions – as opposed to showing the softer feelings of their vulnerability, lack of self-worth and fear.
Making our lives endlessly and excessively busy, we can become addicted to stress. This is a way many people in our modern society choose to avoid feeling their sadness. Today’s high rates of depression and suicide in many parts of our developed world are clear signs that we need to look at sadness, in new ways.
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What if we embrace our sadness, wrap our arms around it and ask what gifts it can offer us?
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Some people I have met in my life, expressed humour, laughter and joy, while they were also equally connected to their gentle sadness. This is because they feel and share from their authentic self and their open heart. They allow tears of joy and sadness to flow spontaneously from their eyes and heart.
I am referring to people who have experienced challenging life situations, which pushed them into the depths of their heart. These people are open to ask questions and listen for answers,… answers, which can only come through solitude, patience and intimacy with our true feelings and emotions.
By consciously going within, which most of us try to avoid, these people have accepted that sadness is a natural and authentic part of our sometimes challenging, human experience.
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Sacred Sadness opens our heart –
to our deepest feelings of vulnerability and gentle love. But also, it offers us the opportunity to feel compassion and share more intimacy and kindness in our relationships and with all beings.
When we feel the subtle energy of our Sacred Sadness, we are not hurt, angry, a victim, sitting in judgment or still looking for retribution for all the “wrongs” that we experienced through other’s actions in the past.
We are simply ready and open to feel in our heart, our longing for love, forgiveness and compassion.
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Hiding from our sadness, means we compromise for a superficial existence. We do not want (or are afraid) to feel the highs and lows of our life. To avoid the risk of making ourselves vulnerable, we close ourselves off from sharing love or being in a loving relationship. We play safe – so we cannot get hurt.
Avoiding our sadness can lead us on a path of never experiencing heart-felt empathy or compassion for others. Being open to feel our sadness can help us to relate to how another person feels in the deepest, darkest, most vulnerable moments of their life.
Numbing our sadness may help us to cope in our life for some time…but ultimately, this will drain our creative energy, our life-force and prevent us from making choices that move us forward on our journey – in the direction our heart and soul are longing for.
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The more I heal and grow on my journey, the more comfortable I am to truly be, in the stillness and beauty of my Sacred Sadness.
I have learned to trust that just like the season of winter, this gentle sadness can offer me valuable gifts – if I welcome it, with an open, loving heart.
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Sacred Sadness asks me to slow down – to be more present and honest with my feelings and emotions.
The closer I live with the natural rhythms of nature, in ways that support my authentic self, the more I have observed that my healing journey resembles a continuously flowing spiral.
This spiral provides me with many opportunities to go deeper – forgive, feel more love and become more conscious. I see sadness as invaluable to the spirals flow, because it pulls me inward to its center – towards my heart and to love.
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Sacred Sadness and Juerg Dreamturtle
14 years ago, I met my soul partner Juerg. Almost immediately, he shared one of his key teachings – “Our Sacred Sadness”. He explained to me that our Sacred Sadness is the golden door to the deeper healing work of our heart.
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“Sacred Sadness of our open feeling heart connects us with the experiences and people in our life we long to forgive, feel love and compassion more deeply.
Sacred Sadness connects us with the aspects of our life where we are not in harmony with our heart, soul wisdom and our sacred life.”
My journey together with Juerg has taught me that Sacred Sadness wants to flow like water through us, at any moment.
I have to be really present and open for what Sacred Sadness is trying to show me about my life. This sadness can be triggered through another person, an animal, a song, a place or any other object or experience. In the end, it’s my choice whether to be receptive to my Sacred Sadness and pay attention for the “hidden” messages coming from my soul.
My journey has also shown me that it is not about receiving instant answers or lightning-bolt-revelations. Misty, grey and foggy days may prevent us from seeing far ahead – but in these moments we need to trust and above all, be patient and kind to ourselves.
During the season of winter, the energy moves inward….everything slows down and becomes quiet above the surface. Despite this, nothing in nature is ever completely dormant…there is a deeper, magical and mysterious process going on within. In winter, it’s important to remember, we do not need to explain or rationalise our inner process to ourselves or others.
It is my belief that one of the reasons so many young people are experiencing depression in our world is that they are not connected with these cycles and rhythms of nature, which of course we are all a part of. Young people are looking out at the world through the window of a social-media-screen where acceptance and value are put on “happiness”… but this happiness is often not really ever based on truth – it’s what we would like others to believe about our life and who we are, because we don’t believe in or truly feel good about ourselves.
It’s not easy for everyone to do,… but sometimes, the simple and best choice is to take a step back and lower the noise from the outer world, e.g. from technology, social media or whatever else drains our energy and makes it difficult for us to hear the voice and rhythm of our own authentic music – coming from our soul. Spending more time in nature, wherever we are and can, will give us what we are truly seeking and needing.
I have found that the more I can listen and follow the gentle guidance of my Sacred Sadness:
I can transform its energy into a deeper sense of love, completion, compassion and forgiveness.
I can begin to see my life’s path more clearly and feel more love for the people and experiences that have given me valuable (but not always pleasant) lessons.
I stop expecting my life to be an endless string of “sunny, happy moments”. Indeed, it is the sad and challenging moments, which give meaning and depth to my life and help me to grow in compassion and understanding towards others.
I have more energy and courage to follow my heart and continue to make choices that truly resonate with my unique self – my authentic, soul journey.
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Our work is to support people to heal and grow on their soul journey
Juerg and I are both dedicated to our own personal healing and shadow work in our relationship. We have been journeying, travelling, creating and consciously doing this healing/shadow work together for 14 years.
We offer guidance and support for individuals/couples through personal sessions to heal and grow. Sessions are available internationally via Skype.
If you would like to do a personal session with either myself or Juerg, to connect with your Sacred Sadness or your core wound in this and other lifetimes, which longs for healing, growth and soul wisdom, please contact us.We make sure everyone can afford a session with us. Write to us and we will find a way to make it happen.
Please share your feedback in the comments below…or, write a personal message to me; any questions you may have based on this post, my/our work or just to say hello 🙂 If you enjoyed this post, please share it, follow my blog or register to receive notifications in your email box for my future posts.
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More reading from Rainbowtree Woman about the Soul Journey and the path of healing and transformation: – Click here
A post for people interested in exploring the deeper issues surrounding Life, Love and Suicide and how we can grow to a more compassionate understanding of each persons journey.
“Jaymie, you are a wasted talent.” ….A statement from a long-time family friend, (New Zealander) who I reconnected with around 10 years ago. The person’s intentions were well meaning. The statement came from a place of admiration for my artistic talents but also concern. I would be lying if I said these words did not hurt – and they have remained with me to this day.
On reflection, I know this person’s statement was how they were feeling about their own unfulfilled dreams, gifts and potential…I could feel sadness in her words …. A sadness which was hers, not mine.
The energy and symbolism behind her words has been a common thread throughout my life. A thread or belief, which is about “never feeling good enough”….
In our modern world, there is much pressure and expectation to achieve through our mind or body. I’ve touched on this subject…
“This post was originally created 3 years ago. After sharing it amongst friends on social media, I received many heartfelt comments and messages. I am a New Zealand female living and traveling overseas. My ancestral lineage originates from Scotland and England but my family roots are bound closely with the land, rivers, ocean and mountains surrounding North Otago and Central Otago, New Zealand. As in all my posts, I draw from my own personal life experiences and inner knowing. I share my perspective on how we may grow towards a more compassionate understanding of each person’s journey in life. I do not pretend to have all the answers or to proclaim myself an expert in suicide prevention because I have learned each person’s healing journey, set of life challenges, cultural and ancestral wounding are unique and very personal. However, I do firmly believe the greatest gifts we can share with others on their life path are the experiences, compassion, wisdom and learning gained – from our own life’s journey. Please feel free to share your comments and feedback or send this post to anyone you feel could benefit from reading it.” – Jaymie Elder 20/11/2019
“A WASTED TALENT…”
“Jaymie, you are a wasted talent.” …. A statement from a family friend, who I reconnected with around 10 years ago. The person’s intentions were well-meaning. The statement came from a place of admiration for my artistic talents but also a concern.
Afterward, I remember doing some processing around our conversation and I knew then that the statement was a projection and therefore had less to do with me and more to do with the person’s feelings and life experiences. After many years of walking my own personal healing and spiritual path, I was living together with my soulmate in his home in a beautiful part of New Zealand and I was truly feeling happy and content in my life. However, I would be lying if I said these words did not trigger hurt from my past – and they have remained with me to this day.
The energy and symbolism behind these words have been a common thread throughout my life. A thread or belief, which is about “never feeling good enough”….which then leads into a deeper feeling of shame.
In our modern world, there is much pressure and expectation to achieve through our mind or body. I’ve touched on this subject several times in earlier posts. In this post, I want to address this growing pressure, which is affecting our young people and what we need to focus on – if we choose a path of healing and transformation.
The fact is, in our modern world people judge success externally, like being “well known” …making a lot of money… owning or accumulating material possessions…. youtube and social media popularity,… flying here and there around the world… being physically attractive and fit… or being “driven”, motivated, positive or always “busy”.
In my own life, the pressure I have felt to achieve and appear perfect on the outside has challenged me to redefine what success really means. In my early twenties, I realised that society’s definition of success and perfection would never fit who I truly am and the only way I could find real happiness and fulfillment was to follow the guidance of my own heart and soul.
On reflection, I see that from the “outside” the choices I made and the path I forged and created for myself may have appeared irrational, unconventional, obscure and unplanned to some people. However, as I began to view my life choices more from the “inside” and less how others and society perceived me, I came torealise that the most important was that I listened to my own intuition and followed my heart and soul. I now know that this way never demonstrates a carefully-calculated-straight–path because it is open to flow and spontaneously change as we grow to become more authentically who we are.
We have a choice… we can choose a path, accepted by society and others… or follow our heart – often into the unknown. On this path, we may be misunderstood and challenged by many but the rewards are, we grow towards our authenticity, integrity, creativity, soulful possibilities and fulfillment…
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OUR GREATEST ”WORK” IS TO HONOUR OUR SOUL JOURNEY
AND GROW TOWARDS BEING OUR TRUE SELF.
Our Soul Journey is a slow but steady process where we increasingly open ourselves to look at the truth in our hearts, in our relationships, people and the world around us. To grow, we need to be challenged and it is our relationships that provide us with many opportunities to do our inner work.
When we leave this body, we do not take with us our superficial human “goals and achievements” or any of our “materialistic successes”. It’s the energy of who we are and what we share with others, which is most important.
In life, it is not important or possible for everyone to understand us – but it is important we are being true to our hearts. Only WE can know what that means, what it looks like or how it feels! This is not information we are given freely in school! However, it’s what our journey in life will show us through our own challenges and experiences.
Our Soul Journey is about whether we are living, being, feeling and sharing in harmony with our heart and who we truly are.
HEALING OUR GENERATIONAL WOUNDS.
My birth nation, New Zealand has the highest rate of teen suicide in the world. The 2017 Unicef report had NZ towards the bottom of the developed world (38th out of 41 countries) in relation to the health and wellbeing of children and youth.
A long period of poor, non-compassionate government policy is a justified target for our anger and frustration. But more important for ourselves and the collective consciousness of all New Zealanders (and the world), is if we each focus on our own personal healing and shadow work.
Our shadow encompasses everything we do not “like” about ourselves – it is the suppressed, hidden parts of ourselves, which we have never acknowledged but long for our conscious awareness, understanding, truth, love and integration. The more we ignore or suppress our shadow – the more it grows in power and can manifest in self- harming, destructive patterns. The more we find the courage to openly acknowledge, heal and transform our shadow – the more light and compassion we bring into our relationship with ourselves, others and the world.
Healing and transformational changes will not occur without serious inner work to do with our own personal shadow – as well as the shadow of the culture/nation we live in…
The generational wounds of a nation or “ancestral wounding”
are where core beliefs about our self-worth, historical and family trauma are passed on from generation to generation
–unless we contribute to healing this through our own inner work.
It is the wounded masculine (perfectionism, over-achieving and controlling, unable to express sadness, vulnerability or sorrow, ignorance, stubbornness, rigidity) which overrides, neglects and ridicules the sacred feminine (sensitivity, creativity, feeling, intuition, compassion, gentleness, being and nurturing).
Of course, these are wounds that extend far beyond New Zealand and deep into our modern human history, psyche and collective consciousness. However, the wounded masculine energy is vividly portrayed and often glorified within the New Zealand culture. For those who are unaware, the “harden up, stay staunch” attitude is prolific amongst many men in New Zealand. From a young age, watching the Alblacks “haka” on television, boys can be conditioned to conform to a particular “mould”. While attitudes are now beginning to change through awareness and new leaders coming to the fore, in the past and still in many cases today, expressing emotions like sadness and despair, can be judged as a sign of weakness.
Around 14 years ago, a New Zealand male friend of mine committed suicide (aged 23 years old). In his suicide note, he apologised to friends and family saying that he could no longer go on because he was  “so tired”. My friend was a funny, gifted, highly creative, very sensitive and caring soul. In the final years of his life, we both moved to opposite ends of New Zealand and sadly, I lost my once close connection with him. Because of this, I do not wish to assume what was going on in his mind at the time he took his own life.
However, based on my understanding of his difficult past and the trauma he had experienced in his early life – I do believe he was tired of fighting – for his true self – and having to shut himself down – in order to “fit in” or function in society that largely excludes and ridicules the softer, feminine qualities, which are more prominent in some men.
My friend was an outsider his whole life in terms of fitting into the typical Kiwi male “accepted persona”. The conservative Kiwi males do not find it easy to talk about their feelings and emotions. However, what made my friend so unique and special was that he had been through so much in his life – but he had not closed his heart – he remained a very feeling person, with so much sensitivity and compassion to share with others.
Of course, I know that my friend is still with me now and the act of taking his own life – did not mean he “failed”, he was “punished” or that his suicide was the “ultimate sin” (as some religious dogmas would have us believe).
I know that his journey of learning and growth continues and he found relief from “tiredness” after leaving his physical body. I also believe that if he was able to change his mind and move through his internal blockages towards self-healing – the universe (Spirit, God, Creator, Angels – whichever words describe a Higher Power for you) would have staged an intervention and he would not have succeeded in taking his own life.
ONLY THOSE WHO HAVE KNOWN DARKNESS,… CAN TRULY APPRECIATE THE LIGHT…
New Zealand suicide rate is highest since records began 10 years ago – with 668 people dying by suicide in the past year. It was the fourth year in a row that number has increased. New Zealand also has “one of the world’s worst records for bullying in school”, says Shaun Robinson of the Mental Health Foundations New Zealand.
While more recent efforts have been made to address these issues within communities, the statistics put out by UNICEF tell us that something very serious is being over-looked or hidden. In any culture, country or nation, the youth are our future and therefore the responsibility of all.
Will these young (obviously) sensitive souls who have taken their own lives, awaken people to their own shadow and the shadow wounds of a nation?
The wounded masculine – warrior, aggressive energy – needs the sacred feminine to heal and create a much-needed balance, inner peace, personal self-care and respect, sensitivity to our own and other’s feelings, love, nurturing, compassion, connection and wholeness.
The first step towards healing – is to create better forms of communication and open discussion so that young people can feel safe and supported to express themselves and truly be heard. While suicide is a delicate subject for many people, it should not be closed to discussion and hidden behind shame, self-blame and closed doors.
Are we, the women and men of New Zealand ready to support and encourage these open, supportive, compassionate discussions – after having spent time working on healing and transforming our own shadow?
“Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.”
– Carl Jung
WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT EACH SOUL IS HERE FOR, ON EARTH.
LET US NOT JUDGE THE PATH OF OTHERS.
Each soul incarnates and re-incarnates on to earth with different lessons to learn. A soul family and country provides the opportunities and challenges (a foundation – a structure) for these lessons to be offered and it is then the free will choice of each soul to complete and fulfill them.
Even if we do not understand the path a young person chooses – it’s not our place to judge or project onto them from our own unfulfilled dreams, expectations and beliefs about life and our own ego-based “ambitions”.
Unfortunately, too often, the subtle, critical comments are slipping out unconsciously… It is much easier
to project on to others rather than become conscious
of our own unhealed wounds and shadow.
Over time, these comments build up the voice of our “inner critic” – potentially becoming very destructive to a young person’s self-worth and feeling about their own unique identity and path in life.
Let us be conscious of the impact we have on those around us with our words and projections. Let us continue to be devoted to our own inner work and Soul Journey, so that we may offer soul wisdom (gained through our own life experiences), compassion and loving support to others.
Let us be the leader and wise friend we would have loved to know – when we were a young person.
A compassionate and courageous leader knows; – New paths towards light, compassion and transformation
only come through fully experiencing our inner places of darkness and despair.
– There is immense value in our on-going inner work
(truth-seeking, personal healing, shadow work and self-discovery.)
– Difficulties and challenges viewed from a ‘soul perspective’ help us
to recognise we are each provided with the perfect lessons and opportunities
to grow deeper in love, truth and wisdom on our Soul Journey.
“The past is not a burden;
it is a scaffold which brought us to this day. We are free to be who we are –
to create our own life out of our past and out of the present.
We are our ancestors.
When we can heal ourselves, we also heal our ancestors, our grandmothers, our grandfathers, and our children.
When we heal ourselves, we heal Mother Earth.”
 – Grandmother Rita Pitka Blumenstein
Jaymie Elder is a soul journey guide, artist, writer and traveller offering intuitive guidance/Soul Sessions internationally via Skype. Jaymie is dedicated to supporting others to heal and grow towards their authentic self – and a life in harmony with their heart and soul being. Learn more about Jaymie and her work here.
“I have spent many years, working through
the generational wounds of the men and women in my family.
During this time, I discovered positive characteristics
but also negative beliefs about my self-worth and my capacity
to create an authentic and fulfilling life from my creative and soul gifts.
I see both the shadow and the light portrayed.
My inner work and healing journey continues after 20 years
of being devoted to walking the path of my heart and soul.
I’m grateful I chose my family and New Zealand as my birth country
and for the many opportunities to heal and grow deeper on my Soul Journey.” – Jaymie Elder
Where is my true path?
“Our true path must come from our own heart and spirit and no one can tell us what that is,…” – Juerg Dreamturtle
Below, my partner of 15 years, Juerg Dreamturtle shares about the path of our heart and soul – and his book “Sacred Journey” – (video 15mins)
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More reading from Rainbowtree Woman about the Soul Journey
and the path of healing and transformation: – Click here
