“It’s not really sadness that gives you pain.
It is the interpretation that sadness is wrong that gives you pain,
that becomes a psychological problem…
How long can you be sad if you accept sadness?
If you are capable of accepting sadness
you will be capable of absorbing it in your being;
it will become your depth…” – Osho
Usually, we want to avoid, distract ourselves or move away from sadness as quickly as possible.
In a room full of people, it is the “sad” person who is being ignored by everyone because it is easier and more pleasant to wear a mask of pretend “happiness”.
We can do anything and everything to pretend our sadness is not really there, so as to protect ourselves from being overwhelmed by its presence.
This is especially true for men, who are culturally conditioned to be the strong protectors, work hard, fight and strive to create solutions – as opposed to showing the softer feelings of their vulnerability, lack of self-worth and fear.
Making our lives endlessly and excessively busy, we can become addicted to stress. This is a way many people in our modern society choose to avoid feeling their sadness. Today’s high rates of depression and suicide in many parts of our developed world are clear signs that we need to look at sadness, in new ways.
What if we embrace our sadness,
wrap our arms around it
and ask what gifts it can offer us?
Some people I have met in my life, expressed humour, laughter and joy, while they were also equally connected to their gentle sadness. This is because they feel and share from their authentic self and their open heart. They allow tears of joy and sadness to flow spontaneously from their eyes and heart.
I am referring to people who have experienced challenging life situations, which pushed them into the depths of their heart. These people are open to ask questions and listen for answers,… answers, which can only come through solitude, patience and intimacy with our true feelings and emotions.
By consciously going within, which most of us try to avoid, these people have accepted that sadness is a natural and authentic part of our sometimes challenging, human experience.
Sacred Sadness opens our heart –
to our deepest feelings of vulnerability and gentle love.
But also, it offers us the opportunity to feel compassion
and share more intimacy and kindness
in our relationships and with all beings.
When we feel the subtle energy of our Sacred Sadness,
we are not hurt, angry, a victim, sitting in judgment
or still looking for retribution for all the “wrongs”
that we experienced through other’s actions in the past.
We are simply ready and open
to feel in our heart,
our longing for love, forgiveness and compassion.
Hiding from our sadness, means we compromise for a superficial existence. We do not want (or are afraid) to feel the highs and lows of our life. To avoid the risk of making ourselves vulnerable, we close ourselves off from sharing love or being in a loving relationship. We play safe – so we cannot get hurt.
Avoiding our sadness can lead us on a path of never experiencing heart-felt empathy or compassion for others. Being open to feel our sadness can help us to relate to how another person feels in the deepest, darkest, most vulnerable moments of their life.
Numbing our sadness may help us to cope in our life for some time…but ultimately, this will drain our creative energy, our life-force and prevent us from making choices that move us forward on our journey – in the direction our heart and soul are longing for.
The more I heal and grow on my journey,
the more comfortable I am to truly be,
in the stillness and beauty of my Sacred Sadness.
I have learned to trust
that just like the season of winter,
this gentle sadness can offer me valuable gifts
– if I welcome it, with an open, loving heart.
Sacred Sadness asks me to slow down –
to be more present and honest
with my feelings and emotions.
The closer I live with the natural rhythms of nature,
in ways that support my authentic self,
the more I have observed that my healing journey
resembles a continuously flowing spiral.
This spiral provides me with many opportunities
to go deeper – forgive, feel more love
and become more conscious.
I see sadness as invaluable to the spirals flow,
because it pulls me inward to its center
– towards my heart and to love.
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Sacred Sadness and Juerg Dreamturtle
14 years ago, I met my soul partner Juerg. Almost immediately, he shared one of his key teachings – “Our Sacred Sadness”. He explained to me that our Sacred Sadness is the golden door to the deeper healing work of our heart.
“Sacred Sadness of our open feeling heart
connects us with the experiences and people in our life
we long to forgive, feel love and compassion more deeply.
Sacred Sadness connects us with the aspects of our life
where we are not in harmony with our heart,
soul wisdom and our sacred life.”
My journey together with Juerg has taught me that Sacred Sadness wants to flow like water through us, at any moment.
I have to be really present and open for what Sacred Sadness is trying to show me about my life. This sadness can be triggered through another person, an animal, a song, a place or any other object or experience. In the end, it’s my choice whether to be receptive to my Sacred Sadness and pay attention for the “hidden” messages coming from my soul.
My journey has also shown me that it is not about receiving instant answers or lightning-bolt-revelations. Misty, grey and foggy days may prevent us from seeing far ahead – but in these moments we need to trust and above all, be patient and kind to ourselves.
During the season of winter, the energy moves inward….everything slows down and becomes quiet above the surface. Despite this, nothing in nature is ever completely dormant…there is a deeper, magical and mysterious process going on within. In winter, it’s important to remember, we do not need to explain or rationalise our inner process to ourselves or others.
It is my belief that one of the reasons so many young people are experiencing depression in our world is that they are not connected with these cycles and rhythms of nature, which of course we are all a part of. Young people are looking out at the world through the window of a social-media-screen where acceptance and value are put on “happiness”… but this happiness is often not really ever based on truth – it’s what we would like others to believe about our life and who we are, because we don’t believe in or truly feel good about ourselves.
It’s not easy for everyone to do,… but sometimes, the simple and best choice is to take a step back and lower the noise from the outer world, e.g. from technology, social media or whatever else drains our energy and makes it difficult for us to hear the voice and rhythm of our own authentic music – coming from our soul. Spending more time in nature, wherever we are and can, will give us what we are truly seeking and needing.
I have found that the more I can listen and follow the gentle guidance of my Sacred Sadness:
I can transform its energy into a deeper sense of love, completion, compassion and forgiveness.
I can begin to see my life’s path more clearly and feel more love for the people and experiences that have given me valuable (but not always pleasant) lessons.
I stop expecting my life to be an endless string of “sunny, happy moments”. Indeed, it is the sad and challenging moments, which give meaning and depth to my life and help me to grow in compassion and understanding towards others.
I have more energy and courage to follow my heart and continue to make choices that truly resonate with my unique self – my authentic, soul journey.
* * * *
Our work is to support people to heal and grow on their soul journey
Juerg and I are both dedicated to our own personal healing and shadow work in our relationship. We have been journeying, travelling, creating and consciously doing this healing/shadow work together for 14 years.
We offer guidance and support for individuals/couples through personal sessions to heal and grow. Sessions are available internationally via Skype.
If you would like to do a personal session with either myself or Juerg, to connect with your Sacred Sadness or your core wound in this and other lifetimes, which longs for healing, growth and soul wisdom, please contact us. We make sure everyone can afford a session with us. Write to us and we will find a way to make it happen.
Learn more about personal sessions with Juerg
Learn more about a Soul Session with Jaymie
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Copyright © Jaymie Elder 2018. If you wish to use or share some of my writing on social media – please do so respectfully by acknowledging myself as the author & photographer with links to my website/blog www.rainbowtreewoman.com. All photography in this post, Copyright © Jaymie Elder (except featured photo beside the river, by Juerg Dreamturtle)
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